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In all honesty, there have been a few stressful moments when planning our wedding, but I think a lot of how difficult the process can be comes down to the type of person you are and what sort of wedding you want. Here are a few things I’ve learnt so far.
Don’t try to recreate somebody else’s wedding. Sure, Pinterest is great for gathering inspiration and DIY tips, but I think you need to keep in mind that it is your big day. It doesn’t have to be #PinterestGoals if you don’t want it to be. You don’t have to wear the Kate Middleton dress if it doesn’t suit you. You don’t have to follow conventions of romance if that’s not how you roll as a couple. This is potentially the biggest event of your life – it can be as low-key or lavish as you want.
One thing I have kept in mind throughout this planning process is that I want everyone to have a good time, but you can’t please everyone – AND YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO. A wedding is about you and your partner. Have whatever vows you want and play your favourite music, if Auntie Barbara doesn’t like this, then so what?! Everyone who cares about you will just be happy to witness and share the day with you.
I must admit, this had probably been the hardest part so far. We decided from the get-go that we wanted a budget wedding. This means we’ve had to put a cap on the number of guests we invite to the day and night. This was fine by us as we only want to celebrate with those who we love and have been with us through the good times and bad. I don’t believe you should have to invite and pay for that relative you’ve never met or spoken to in your entire life, just because you share the tiniest bit of DNA. I also don’t think you should have to invite people you don’t like because it will please someone else. This is your day as a couple. It’s a significant part of your life and you should only share that with those that you really want to. Once I realised this, it made it a lot easier to say no.
This may sound harsh, but it’s not meant to be. The reality is, weddings are expensive, but not only that, they’re personal. I want to feel comfortable enough to be myself.
Knowing and keeping track of a budget and the dates when you have to make your final payments, is imperative. I have a savings plan and I try not to divert from it. To keep things within a budget, I’ve not been afraid to ‘haggle’ with suppliers (being friendly helps) while also being respectful of their services. Find a solution that suits your budget, rather than settling for packages. We did exactly this to get the honeymoon we wanted, at a price right for us.
Honestly, the rest of it (so far) hasn’t been too stressful. Am I nervous? About potentially falling flat on my face as I walk down the aisle; hell yes. About marriage? I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. I’m so relaxed about it and that is the best feeling in the world, to be so sure of something, and of someone.
I’ll pass you the sick bucket.